The Power of Giving Back

One of the greatest attributes we have as humans is empathy – an ability to recognize and identify with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another – to walk in their shoes, so to speak.  Yet, all too often, our day goes by as a blur of activity, and it is easy to find ourselves at the end of the day having sacrificed outcome for output, listening for simply hearing, and empathy for sympathy.  Our days are filled with so much more meaning when we slow down and spend the time to truly connect with others.  The late Jim Rohn observed, “Giving starts the receiving process”.  Indeed, when we give of ourselves, we not only enrich the lives of those around us, but we also open the door to receive so much more in return.   

We’ve all seen the numerous research studies, articles, books, and lectures illuminating the benefits of giving back.  It’s been shown over and over again that giving results in a healthier well-being. Simply put, it feels good!  Harvey McKinnon, co-author of The Power of Giving: How Giving Back Enriches Us All, notes:

There is great scientific research thanks to brain scans. When people give to others, it makes them feel better. Human beings are hard-wired to give. And people who exhibit a high level of altruism, researchers can measure that and show that they have a much greater release of endorphins. And when you release endorphins, it builds your immune system.

When we direct our energy into meeting the needs of those around us, we set aside the negative emotions that contribute to stress, illness, and exhaustion. We not only do better, we are better! 

Giving manifests itself differently for each of us.  In some cases, it might be a financial donation to a favorite charity or cause.  It might be time donated in providing service at a local shelter or nursing home.  For others it might mean imparting knowledge as a mentor in education, sports, business, or religion.  Yet others might become involved in local community programs, humanitarian needs, or political efforts.  Sometimes, it might be a simple smile and acknowledgement of another human being – “you exist – you matter”.  There is no right way to give – it’s personal and often private for each individual.  In fact, the ways in which we give will most likely vary throughout our lives, as will the motivation and consistency in giving.  While guilt (“I really should…”) may be the initial driver, each of us hopes to achieve a sincere and ongoing sense of altruism sooner than later.

With all the benefits resulting from giving, why then can it be such a challenge?  Perhaps identifying a few reasons will help us build strategies to overcome the barriers to giving.

Selfishness : the natural instinct of self-preservation instills a strong desire to retain possessions for oneself. Put differently, the mentality of “if I give something away, I won’t have it for myself” can keep us from imparting to others.  If we give in to a fear of scarcity, we can easily justify why we simply cannot give.  

Entitlement : perhaps what prohibits us from giving is that we feel we have earned a greater station in life and are more deserving of what we have than another. “I worked hard for this – I have earned it.” Of course, this doesn’t sound so pleasant when it’s written in such blunt terms, but how often have we found ourselves unfairly judging another’s situation and withholding help for some contrived reason?

Lack of time : we may recognize the value of giving and sincerely wish to do more, but may feel torn in different directions for the use of our time.  Commitments from work, education, friends, and home can often flood our calendars with activities.

Overwhelmed : when we really start to look, we’ll quickly see there’s opportunity all around us.  Where do we start?  The needs are endless and the resources feel very limited.  It’s tempting to throw our hands up, beaten before we’ve started.

Lacking the “why” : perhaps we haven’t found the compelling reason that drives us to give.  Many I have talked with stated they felt “called” or “drawn” to a particular cause due to a significant event or person in their lives.  Without a strong motivator, we can easily find ourselves adrift in a sea of choices.

Recently I found myself using a mix of the excuses listed above to justify why I wasn’t giving.  It startled me.  I knew the importance of giving back.  I wanted to give back.  Why wasn’t I?  As I sorted through my feelings, I realized that I had basically been on auto-pilot for some time, and my auto-pilot wasn’t heading towards the destination I wanted.  I needed a reboot.  Perhaps the following might be of benefit to you as well. 

Find your “why” : first and foremost, find the motivating factor that will excite you to action again and again.  John D. Rockefeller was so inspired by the power of philanthropic work that he retired from Standard Oil in 1897 to devote all his attention to giving.  Now that’s passion!  Regardless of the dollars you may or may not have in your bank account, embrace the reason you have and keep it ever present in your giving efforts.

Schedule It : it sounds odd, but I have found that if I schedule time each morning to think about specific ways I will give back that day, I usually am able to accomplish my goals in some way or another.  Why?  Because I’ve planted the seeds of giving within my mind from the very beginning of the day.  More often than not, my list is comprised of very small activities – calling a friend, sending an e-mail to a co-worker to thank them, connecting with a family member, etc.  Incorporating this simple activity into the daily routine can gradually build toward a sustainable habit of giving.

Choose One : a financial advisor may counsel you to diversify investments, but with giving it can often be more impactful to simply choose one cause and support it within the boundaries you’ve allocated.  When starting something new, consistency – no matter how small – builds confidence and a sense of accomplishment. As your ability permits, you may choose to expand the parameters you initially set or perhaps add another cause altogether.  But start small and focused, and celebrate the wins.

Be Flexible : recognize that life is what happens when you’re making plans.  It’s OK if everything doesn’t go as you had anticipated.  Realize that there may be multiple ways to accomplish what you had hoped for, and that the journey may indeed be more valuable than the destination.  Have you overcomplicated your approach?  Yes, the fresh coat of paint on the home is nice, but what the widow really needed that day was for someone to talk to.

Express Gratitude : nothing cures a sense of entitlement faster than recognizing the wealth that surrounds you.  Of course, I’m not necessarily referring to dollars – I’m talking about the beautiful sunset you just witnessed, the laugh of a toddler, the help you received from a coworker, the blessing of health, the love of a family member, the education opportunity you have, etc.  Make a list.  Literally write it out each day.  I find that if I spend just five minutes writing out my gratitude list, my mindset literally moves from fear and anxiety to contentment and happiness.  And those are wonderful things to share with others.

I’d love to hear from you!  What are ways you have found effective to incorporate giving in your life?